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unfortunately I have to stop with development due to my troublesome form of autism and diabetes

Messages
192
Country
netherlands
Dear simmers

I have been a number of years active as a developer of freeware sceneries , but I suffer from a dire troublesome form of autism and diabetes, it is the rapid development for me to keep up with , I know I 'm good at designing the buildings and objects of airports but I do not come on with my skills, the many complicated techniqes like SODE, and runway rain effects, and other things happen to me too complicated, and delivers me the stressful, also many tutorials are in theoretic explaination, and that's for me too difficult, many payware developers, does have the skills to learn such complicate techniqes, they I can't learn with my form of autism, It turns me in a depression, and that's something I will avoid, It was for me a pleasure to do it for the community, but the complicated techniqes blocks my skills completely, that's the reason I've decided to stop with the further development of airports.
Hope you all will understand my decision.

linden
 
Messages
898
Country
denmark
Hi Linden, This is very sad news. Your projects are highly appreciated and are of very high standard. Can't you just aim a bit lower! I know that my own skills and time do not permit any fancy programming so I just avoid it and stick to what I am good at and do it when I have time - I live a stressfull life with a lot business travelling, meetings, and complicated decisions so I make models to relax and I make sure to put my ambitions at a level where they do not just end up in becoming stressful. No need for complicated techniques. What you are already doing is already extremely good.
Henrik Nielsen
 
Messages
994
Country
macedonia
Hey Linden.

Thats really sad news as KL791 said, I know alot of your projects and they are pretty awesome.I wish you all the best, and hope to see you again on the development side :)
 
Messages
1,243
Country
canada
Linden, Your work will be missed. Concentrate on your health, it's the most important. Take some time and enjoy and relax.
 
Messages
192
Country
netherlands
Hi Linden, This is very sad news. Your projects are highly appreciated and are of very high standard. Can't you just aim a bit lower! I know that my own skills and time do not permit any fancy programming so I just avoid it and stick to what I am good at and do it when I have time - I live a stressfull life with a lot business travelling, meetings, and complicated decisions so I make models to relax and I make sure to put my ambitions at a level where they do not just end up in becoming stressful. No need for complicated techniques. What you are already doing is already extremely good.
Henrik Nielsen
Maybe I want too much, it seems me so great to have runways with rain effects and other things like SODE, and animated apron traffic too,
but when I going to read the avialable instructions, it frustrating me, that it will not up to my skills to learn it.
you're right, and I can better accept the things that I can learn, and things, that I can't learn,
maybe the best for now is, to avoid advanced techniqes.
but for now I have first to take care of my health, just as ronh says.
 
Messages
5,214
Oh, it is not only frustrating you. It is frustrating for about everyone I know (including myself).
If I were you (speaking for myself:)), I would just slow down a bit, take some time off and when you feel you are missing something, start again (but only if you feel like) and I am sure that will not hurt your health.
Meanwhile keep on reading up on the woes and the help requests of all of us that do not see the light at the end of the tunnel either:eek:.
 
Messages
2,126
Country
france
Hi Linden
Sad New indeed ;(, Take care of you; but as other sait, go slower, you now, you are free to ask developer here do help you :) FSDeveloper is (for me) a Big Team or even a familly. take your time, relax, take care of you, and maybe you will get back :)
I hope to continue reading you ;) even as a supporter :)

Take care :)
Marc
 
Messages
527
Country
australia
Hi Linden,

That's very sad news but I can understand your point of view. I agree with the sentiments of the posts above in that we will all miss your fantastic and generous developments but we understand that your health and happiness is the most important thing. Also as others have said above, you don't need to produce sceneries using every available technique but just produce your wonderful work with the skills you already know and use. I am definitely not pushing you towards continuing, if you feel frustrated then the best thing would be to at least step back from developments and take a break. Enjoy your flying in the sim instead and enjoy other things in life. I know I also had similar frustrations with my limited abilities producing scenery and stepping back from it while keeping my interest in flying and aviation has helped a lot. I used to spend so much time developing certain sceneries and almost never found the time to enjoy the reason I got in to flight simulation in the first place; my love of flying and aviation. I also know how difficult it can be to learn so many new techniques and be able to master them to a high enough standard.

Just keep your chin up mate and enjoy life in and out of flight simulator.

Cheers,

Scott
 
Messages
410
Country
germany
Really bad news. Maybe its a good alternative to join a team, where you can bring your skills and leave SODE and rain effects to other team members?!?
 

jtanabodee

Resource contributor
Messages
3,921
Country
thailand
We love your work, Linden, but your health is the first priority. Whenever you feel you are OK, please come back. I think personally the hobby is the thing that bring joy to us. If it gives you some trouble, it is not a hobby any more.
 
Messages
884
Country
germany
Linden, just to say, even if flightsim (and designing) is getting a passion, it still is a hobby. So bear in mind, real life comes first! And health is most important. So I wish you the very best and maybe you can flightsim by less intensity of course. All the best, mate.
 
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Messages
192
Country
netherlands
thanks for your understanding guys,
When i heard a couple of weeks ago that the doctor said, I have diabetes, I was in shock, I did some research on the internet too, and I discovered that diabetes is a serious
disease, Also it has made me mentally very slicing, and depressed
diabetes comes with
- Chronic fatigue , general weakness and malaise (feeling unwell )
- Excessive urination
- Exceptional lot of thirst and increased fluid intake
- Blurred vision and burden of red eyes
- Unexplained weight loss
- Recurrent infections and poor wound healing
also can affect the mood, and concentration issues, what I also experience.
The doctor gave me medication, that I need to use every day now,
Each 3 months I have a period check at the hospital, by a diabetes nurse,
when I notice that I again feel a little better, and the medication is successful, then I can again resume developing scenery too, but now I have to see myself again to resume to cope learn with this disease, it turned out that I been a long time this had been walking around without my noticing, until a few weeks back, when I was taken in the hospital, and the doctor made the diagnostic.
also my autism is very hard to deal with.
here an explaination about autism.

In people with autism operates the information processing within the brains in another way. With autism you was born, and continues to play a role throughout your life. It is not caused by upbringing.
Everything see people with autism, hearing, smelling, etc. is processed in a different way. And that brings a different mix of strengths and weaknesses along with it. For example, people with autism often a good eye for detail, they are honest, straightforward, analytical and hardworking, but they have trouble keeping up with state and social contacts and have a remarkably small number of interests or activities.
Autism can not see you on the outside, but it has great impact on someone's life. How big and how exactly differs per person, and each life.
Autism has many faces. Some people with autism look little contact with others. Others do it just very active but often in a way which is 'strange'. There are people with autism and intellectual disabilities as well as people with high intelligence. Some can with proper guidance lead a fairly independent life, others have their lives need a lot of help.

I am with my autism used to be very bullied and ostracized by many in my past,
I am also abused emotionally and physically seriously neglected and sexually abused by my sister, and a school teacher in the past,
What has given me enormous psychological damage, and I will also now post-traumatic stress disorder, and borderline suffer
weekly I lie on the couch at the psychiatrist, and I follow intense therapies
because I've done several suicide attempts last year, which fortunately had failed
I live very secluded from society,
in the Netherlands there is often a huge stigma attached to people with mental health problems, and that I experience often immensely.
I know this is a bit oftopic, but I think it's important that you know what is going on inside me at this moment, because my decision to stop building up the scenery, you guys have arrived as a shock.
I must now go to work on myself.
until then I decided to develop sceneries just suspend until I
are stable enough to keep me busy with other things.
I will come back for sure,
 

Dutcheeseblend

Resource contributor
Messages
1,541
Country
netherlands
Hello linden,

Thanks for being so open, I have a lot of respect for that! Sure others will have as well... Don't know what to say on your message further...
Smart decision to focus on your health. It can be very exhaustive, being under a psychological therapy, but will reward.
Think about dropping by here sometimes.

Wishing you all the best with your loved ones!

Daan
 

rcbarend

Resource contributor
Messages
435
Country
netherlands
Hi "linden",
Let me first say that I agree that health and other real-life stuff always comes first.

But if it helps:
(I am a Diabetic since 2001, relying on 3 shots of insuline everyday since, and I have a mentally-handicaped/autistic son; so I know what I'm talking about).

I can't comment on how autisme affects / has affected your life, but if it's the recent diabetes diagnose you are now so worried about:
Yes, Diabetes is a serious disease.
BUT: do yourself a favour, and don't get depressed by everything you read on the Internet about Diabetes, all it's potential deficiances and how it might affect your life.
From my personal experiance (and quite a few other Diabetics I know): you can perfectly live with this disease, and get old, with the right medication.

Like I've done for the past 15 years, and hopefully the next .... years.


Hartelijke groeten,

Rob Barendregt
 
Messages
105
Country
netherlands
Very sad news Linden, but your health always comes first. It's the most important thing you got.

Diabetes is indeed a very serious disease, but you can learn to live with it. Of course it's shocking in the beginning and I can imagine you're really feeling bad about it now, but it won't stay that way forever. People with diabetes can still have a life, they can still have fun.

About autism you didn't tell me anything new, I knew all of that because I got a mild form of autism myself as well. However, I never concidered myself less because of it. Different indeed, but equally good. Or as a card I once got said "I am not different, I think different".

I think it's a good idea to take a break from developing for now. Certainly when you're feeling down like you do now scenery developing will be the last thing on your mind. But believe me, in time you'll start feeling better. You'll learn to live with your diabetes, it becomes part of your life and you'll want to do something again. Then let's not focus on what you can't do, let's focus on what you can do and that's a whole lot. It doesn't matter that you can't do everything, very few people can but what you can do is certainly worth mentioning. And you can still do that, you still got it in you. Even with your diabetes and your autism I still believe that you can do it. Just not now, that's why I'm suggesting a break. Also for the sake of your health, which is as I said before the most important thing you got.
 
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